UnDiplomatic Wife

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Frequently Asked Questions

Contents

  • 1 YOU SOUND AMERICAN, DID YOU LIVE IN THE UNITED STATES?
  • 2 YOU TALK ABOUT INDONESIA A LOT, ARE YOU INDONESIAN?
  • 3 WHAT DID YOU DO BEFORE YOU BECAME A TRAILING SPOUSE?
  • 4 WAS T.D. (THE DIPLOMAT) ALREADY A DIPLO WHEN  YOU MET?
  • 5 HOW LONG DO YOU STAY IN A COUNTRY?
  • 6 DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING NEXT?
  • 7 HOW OLD IS DIPLO DOG? IS HE A BOY OR GIRL?
  • 8 ARE YOU A PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHER?
  • 9 WHAT CAMERA DO YOU USE?
  • 10 WHY DID YOU BLUR YOUR FACE AND COMPLETELY BLUR OUT YOUR HUSBAND’S FACE?
  • 11 WHAT ARE THE UPS AND DOWNS OF BEING A DIPLO WIFE?

YOU SOUND AMERICAN, DID YOU LIVE IN THE UNITED STATES?

No. I am a Filipino and I lived in the Philippines until 2009, wherein I became a trailing spouse to a Filipino Diplomat.

YOU TALK ABOUT INDONESIA A LOT, ARE YOU INDONESIAN?

Haha, see answer above. We were posted in Jakarta, Indonesia for 4 years. It was our very first post and also our first home together as husband and wife. There are still so many finds, information and tips I would like to share about Indonesia and Travel Diaries of Asia, so expect more posts!

WHAT DID YOU DO BEFORE YOU BECAME A TRAILING SPOUSE?

I used to be in Marketing, starting out with Events Management and PR, then getting into Marketing in a start-up tech company and later going into Brand Management for a multi-national company. There I was so overworked, clocking in 14-18 hour days, that I was getting sick so often. I decided that having amazing health benefits was not worth it sacrificing my health for. I quit the rat race, but was convinced by my former boss to be their Corporate Marketing Consultant. (I loved working from home and conducting meetings via Skype!) Then we had to leave for our first post and now I continue to practice my writing and photography through my blog.

WAS T.D. (THE DIPLOMAT) ALREADY A DIPLO WHEN  YOU MET?

No. He was a teacher in a university when I met him. Little did I know that he would want to become a diplomat. If I only knew haha! =p It was definitely a big change and something that I had to do some soul-searching and reflecting on before taking the plunge. It’s not as easy as I expected it to be, but it did lead me to a life I never expected to have. My life then was centred on my career. When I became a diplo wife, it allowed me to explore my interests and passion instead of being consumed by career. Before this, I also didn’t traveled abroad a lot (I was happy exploring and surfing Philippine beaches), never really like to eat out or entertain.  Who knew I could entertain, cook, bake, DIY, be a dog-owner, travel and eat so much?!? Not me, for sure! It’s all been quite a surprise.

HOW LONG DO YOU STAY IN A COUNTRY?

Normally a Filipino diplomat is posted for 6 years abroad and 2 years at home and then back in foreign assignment again This is only a guideline and hardly the rule. Budget and the political situation have effects on our posting. The 6 years abroad can be spent in one country or split in 2 different countries. In our case, we spent 4 years in Jakarta, Indonesia and so we will only be spending 2 years in Berlin.

DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE GOING NEXT?

No. This is one of those things that is exciting yet stressful about diplomatic life. When you are at home post (Manila) then there is a process of applying for your next posting. Whether you get what you sign up for is another matter. However when you are already at post and desire a cross-posting (from one overseas posting to another) there is no formal process. I can guess that there is also some politics involved.

HOW OLD IS DIPLO DOG? IS HE A BOY OR GIRL?

Our Pomeranian is 11 years old (as of 2018) and he is a boy. If you are in Berlin and you have a female Pomeranian and you want cute Pomeranian babies, we are looking for a girlfriend for Diplo Dog. TD fears that he will be a virgin for life. =p Diplo Dog comes from an excellent line of champion breeds. I’d love to here from you and we can set up a date! For non-creeps only please.

ARE YOU A PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHER?

Heaven’s no! I took a basic photography course in college and recently took an improve your photography session here in Berlin, to remind me again about the technical aspect. I love taking photographs, but I am far from being an expert.

WHAT CAMERA DO YOU USE?

I used to use a fancy DSLR, but now my iPhone X does all the heavy lifting. Sometimes I will also use my Sony RX100 which has DSLR-like quality photos. I highly recommend both. The automatic settings of the Sony RX100 are great for those who don’t know how to use manual settings, and even professional photographers like using it as a fun back up camera when they aren’t at work.

WHY DID YOU BLUR YOUR FACE AND COMPLETELY BLUR OUT YOUR HUSBAND’S FACE?

This was before. Because when I started my blog, there were security issues involved in our post. It was safer to not place our names and post my husband’s face. That’s how we started it and I am happy to continue to do so for several private reasons which I realised as I continued to blog. The internet is a tricky place, so even if I have this tendency to over-share I choose to keep certain things private. Don’t you think life is more fun when there a little mystery to it?

WHAT ARE THE UPS AND DOWNS OF BEING A DIPLO WIFE?

For me these are the ups an downs. My experience could be completely different from the experience of other diplo wives.

Downs:

  • Loneliness! I miss friends and family back home.
  • Having to make new friends in each new post is hard!
  • When you go back to your home country it seems that so much has changed when you were away. So many things have happened to your loved ones that you miss. There is also the guilt for having missed so many of your loved one’s milestones.
  • A new city with new rules, vastly different culture  and language can be tricky to navigate. There will be frustration and tears.

Ups:

  • Traveling
  • Exposure to different cultures expands your mind and world
  • Tasting, learning to cook new cuisines
  • A new city with all it’s new sites, smells and things! So exciting!
  • Getting to know a place that you’ve only read about is so different from just reading about it! Living in a city is so different from when you visit a place as a tourist.

Welcome

Hello! I’m Ayessa, trailing spouse to a diplomat, mama to DiploBaby and DiploDog and founder of Declutter MNL. I love talking about how to achieve a minimaluxe lifestyle one step at a time.

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Recent Posts

Tool-Free Bidet Install Hack

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DISCLOSURE

I am an Amazon affiliate, but all opinions are my own. The content of all my blog and social media posts are products and experiences that I truly enjoy and I only work with brands that fit my life and style.

GOOD TO KNOW GUIDE

FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM @UNDIPLOMATICWIFE

TOOL FREE BIDET INSTALL One of the things we miss TOOL FREE BIDET INSTALL

One of the things we miss about living in the Philippines & Indonesia is having a bidet in our bathrooms.

Here we have a MUJI TABO & TOTO PORTABLE BIDETS (dm for link if you want), but nothing beats the water pressure & convenience of a handheld bidet that’s connected to your plumbing IMO.

When I was in @jumbo.schweiz recently I saw a bidet that can be installed with the sink.

It only works if your sink is near your toilet so sadly it won’t work on our master’s bathroom.

I wasn’t sure our faucet was the correct size but I took a risk for CHF20.

Today I finally had the time to install it. I was # #mariomama again LOL!

The only time you might need a tool (pliers) is if you can’t loosen the AERATOR to remove it from your faucet.

HOW TO INSTALL HOLDER WITHOUT DRILLING

As a renter, I want to avoid making holes in the walls whenever I can. Even if I weren’t a renter I don’t recommend putting holes on tiles coz they might crack.

So I used the strongest @tesa_de  double sided tape on the bidet holder. You can see how I did it step by step on the video. Be sure to use Teflon scissors so they don’t get damaged by the adhesive. Clear monster tape will also work well for this.

*** Amazon affiliate links on my bio under BIDET HACKS ****

WHY CANT YOU INSTALL IT IN YOUR TOILET

The toilets here are all built in. There are no exposed tubes to connect bidets to like in Asia. 

That’s why this hack is a God send! No plumbing experience or tools needed! YAY!

WHERE TO BUY

https://undiplomaticwife.com/how-to-install-a-bidet-in-a-european-toilet/

Feel free to dm me if you have any questions!

#DiploHome #diplohomegeneva #diy #bidet #bidetlife #expatlife #expatliving #genevaexpats #genevaexpat #genevaexpatwomen #expatinswitzerland
HUMIDIFIER HACK Did you know that each home shoul HUMIDIFIER HACK

Did you know that each home should have humidifiers whether it’s in winter or summer?

Yes! It should be in
- closets
- caves
- storage lockers
- basements
- attics
- bathrooms
- any other area that doesn’t have through air or air conditioner 

To prevent molds from damaging your property!

Here’s the hack: Don’t throw the container because you can buy refills. 

DM me on where to buy wherever you are!

#diplohome #homehacks
WHEN’S THE BEST TIME TO GO TO SANTA CLAUS VILLAG WHEN’S THE BEST TIME TO GO TO SANTA CLAUS VILLAGE?

The concern going to Rovaniemi is that it’s too cold 🥶 I’ve heard of people going in winter & didn’t enjoy it coz they felt like frozen popsicles. You have 2 options:

1. Go in SPRING like us so prices are lower, no long lines/crowds & no need for super thick snow suits, but low chance of seeing Aurora Borealis & some places might be closed/melted. 

3. A friend who lived in Scandinavia told us for Aurora Borealis, the best time is SEPTEMBER coz it’s not too cold yet. Though some resorts might only be opening in OCTOBER like @glass_resort.

FOR US:

❄️ End of first week of April: We didn’t really know  that we picked the perfect time. We were there for only 3 days & 2 nights because that was all our budget would allow. The lows were -3/5 C but the week before it was literally -18C YIKES! 🥶

❄️ At lows of -3/5 and 0-3 highs it’s manageable layering our @uniqloeurope Ultra Light Down Jackets. We didn’t end up using our waterproof snow jackets.

 ❄️ bring waterproof shoes/boots so you don’t get sick if melted snow gets in. 

❄️ If you will touch snow/have snowball fights, waterproof gloves are a must

❄️ Ask hotel if sleds are free to borrow

❄️ Bring SPF coz snow reflects sun

❄️ As you can see in the reel on our first day it was winter wonderland. The day after things started melting. On our last day things were starting to puddle. After I imagine rivers!

❄️ there was this gigantic snowman & I was too tired to take a pic. It disappeared the next day to my disappointment.

❄️ The SNOWMAN WORLD was already closed when we arrived. It would have been so cool to see the ice resto/bar, slides & disco!

❄️ We found out that the day we were leaving was also the last full day of our hotel. So though Santa Claus Office is open 365 days a year, check with the hotels to see which ones are open.

☀️ Summer activities are different. For example the huskies pull sleds with wheels.

🌈 BONUS TIP: If you pick a resort inside @santaclausvillage_rovaniemi, 3 days is enough. Because of the perfect location of @glass_resort we were able to make SO many wonderful memories in such a short time.

#udwinsantaclausvillage
PARTIES & PLUMBING #diplolife + OUR FIRST TIME TO PARTIES & PLUMBING #diplolife

+ OUR FIRST TIME TO HOST AMBASSADORS IN OUR SWISS #DIPLOHOME
(Except for my FIL of course)

This has to have been the most hectic weekend in recent memory here. Each day @diplobaby had a kid’s party to attend. (Thankfully here you leave the child for 2-2.5hrs & parents can do errands while waiting)

TD & I also had commitments for both days. We were hosting a lunch, attending a lunch/ playdate with #diplofriends & meeting up with a fellow Pinoy @remfelrem who has just arrived in Switzerland. 

Last Saturday, TD and I were hosting a lunch for his boss & also a little farewell for the boss of the other mission. And as you guys know we were really stressed with a clogged kitchen sink drain. Not the most convenient or sweet smelling when you are having people over.

So thankfully with the help of a friend I got tips on how to dismantle the pipes to clean them. Guess what? It was still clogged in the pipes inside the wall!

Cleaning the pipes under the sink might NOT HAVE RESOLVED the problem, but at least our home did not smell! Also I learned to do something new! Win-win! 

TD told @diplobaby that I’m #MarioMama (from Mario Bros) 😂🪠

And I am quite relieved that TD & I managed to pull off a lunch in our little home with not just one, but TWO Ambassadors. Having one’s boss is always somewhat nerve-racking right??? I’m so happy we finally did it! 

We had pork adobo with mango, tomato & cilantro salad. And our fave spaghetti bolognese. I bought small cakes from our favorite boulangerie in the little French town next door. 

P.S. 
For those of you were asking if we finally had to call a professional for our kitchen sink. In a way yes we did. After all our best efforts, we finally had to ask for help. We feel so lucky to have such a lovely landlord who came and had the knowledge to remove the clog from the pipes that were built into the wall. We are ever so grateful to him for coming on his weekend.

This is #diplolife guys… PARTIES AND PLUMBING! LOL!!!

#UDWinGeneva #undiplomaticwife #diplofamily #thediplomat #thediplomaticwife
SANTA CLAUS MAIN POST OFFICE So one really meanin SANTA CLAUS MAIN POST OFFICE

So one really meaningful part of our trip was @santaclausmainpostoffice which is right outside of @santaclausoffice.

🎄 @diplobaby wrote a postcard for Santa

🎄 He also wrote some postcards to his friends

🎄 I wrote a postcard to @diplobaby to remember our many firsts in this trip.

For the last 2 we were lucky that our hotel @glass_resort  had many FREE POSTCARDS  and STAMPS and we didn’t have to go to the post office. They conveniently sent it for us.

His close friends were happy to receive them and I also loved getting our own post. So cool!

Please don’t forget to LIKE this post to see more family adventures & travel tips!

If Finland is on your bucket list then definitely SAVE THIS!

#udwinfinland #udwinsantaclausvillage #diplobaby #diilofamily
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